Is ‘1970 in Aviation’ the Most Fascinating Page on Wikipedia?

I put it to you, Greg, what is the most fascinating page in Wikipedia? If you've ever gone deep down a Wiki rabbit hole, you probably have your own list of weird-crazy-interesting entries under benign headers (and, please, feel free to share in the comments), but here's my vote: "1970 in Aviation," a thrilling day-by-day account of all the aviation happs in 1970. With near daily entries, it's got it all: hijackings, crashes, military deployments in Vietnam, cool airlines you've never heard of (Interflug, for example, the official airline of East Berlin), great quotes, and all the drama and suspense of a season of M*A*S*H.

Here, some high points. Everything in quotes is ripped directly from the page on Wikipedia under the Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike License, and you can find the full entry right here.

January 4, 1970

"Fascinated with the kind of communism practiced in Albania under its leader Enver Hoxha, 18-year-old Mariano Ventura Rodriguez pulls out a toy pistol aboard an Iberia Convair CV-240 ten minutes before it lands at Zaragoza, Spain, after a domestic flight from Madrid. He demands to be flown to Albania. When the airliner lands at Zaragoza, Spanish soldiers armed with submachine guns surround it. During negotiations between Rodriguez and the police, the local police chief tells him that he will be "shot at dawn" if anything happens to any of the plane?s passengers or crew, prompting Rodriguez to surrender peacefully soon afterward."

January 6, 1970

"Anton Funjek, a 41-year-old Yugoslav man on probation for threatening President Richard Nixon, pulls out a knife and grabs a stewardess aboard Delta Air Lines Flight 274, a Douglas DC-9 with 65 people aboard flying from Orlando to Jacksonville, Florida, and demands to be flown to Switzerland. The captain makes a deliberately hard landing at Jacksonville International Airport to throw Funjek off balance, and three passengers overpower him when he stumbles."

January 8, 1970

"To protest an Israeli military operation that resulted in the capture of several Lebanese nationals, Christian Bellon, armed with two handguns and a rifle, hijacks Trans World Airlines Flight 802, a Boeing 707 with 20 people on board flying from Paris to Rome, and demands to be flown to Damascus, Syria, spraying the airliner?s instrument panel with gunfire to emphasize how serious he is. After the airliner lands in Rome to refuel, Bellon changes his mind and demands that the plane fly him to Beirut, Lebanon, instead. When the airliner lands at Beirut International Airport, Bellon surrenders to Lebanese police, who slap him across the face several times."

January 22, 1970

"Pan American World Airways begins the world's first wide-body airliner service, introducing the first Boeing 747 into service on the New York-London route."

February 16, 1970

"Flying with his wife, 10-year-old daughter, and eight-year-old son aboard Eastern Airlines Flight 1 – a Boeing 727 flying from Newark, New Jersey to Miami, Florida, with 104 people on board – Daniel Lopez jumps up with a flaming "Molotov cocktail" and a pistol equipped with a crude bayonet when the airliner is 80 miles south of Wilmington, North Carolina, shouts "Viva Cuba!" and demands to be flown to Havana, Cuba. The flight crew agrees to fly him there as long as he extinguishes his Molotov cocktail. Lopez and his family disembark at Havana, and the airliner returns to the United States after about five hours on the ground in Havana. An investigation reveals that Eastern Airlines did not screen any of the passengers boarding the flight."

February 17-18, 1970

"United States Air Force Boeing B-52 Stratofortresses attack Laos."

February 25, 1970

"Trans World Airlines inaugurates scheduled nonstop Boeing 747 service between Los Angeles, California, and New York City, thus becoming the first airline to offer domestic Boeing 747 service in the United States."

March 10, 1970

"A young husband and wife, Eckhard and Christel Wehage, hijack an Interflug Antonov An-24 with 15 other passengers on board during a domestic flight in East Germany from East Berlin to Leipzig, demanding to be flown to Hanover, West Germany. The pilot claims not to have enough fuel to reach Hanover, so the Wehages agree to land at Tempelhof Airport in West Berlin. When the plane lands at Schönefeld Airport in East Berlin instead, the Wehages commit suicide."

March 17, 1970

"Unable to pay his fare aboard Eastern Air Lines Flight 1340 – a Douglas DC-9-31 (registration N8925E) with 73 people on board operating a shuttle service from Newark, New Jersey, to Boston, Massachusetts – John DiVivo pulls out .38-caliber revolver and orders the pilot to "just fly east until we run out of gas." After about 15 minutes, the captain convinces DiVivo that the airliner will crash into the Atlantic Ocean soon if it does not refuel. Although DiVivo approves a refueling stop, he shoots both pilots when they start to turn the plane. A struggle ensues in the cockpit, during which the mortally wounded copilot knocks the revolver from DiVivo?s hand and the captain, despite serious wounds in both arms, picks it up and shoots DiVivo in the chest. The captain then lands the DC-9 at Logan International Airport in Boston, where DiVivo is arrested. The copilot is the first pilot killed in a U.S. hijacking. DiVivo hangs himself in his jail cell on October 31."

March 28, 1970

"A United States Navy F-4J Phantom II fighter of Fighter Squadron 142 (VF-142) shoots down a North Vietnamese MiG-21 fighter. It is the only American air-to-air kill in the Vietnam War between September 1968 and January 1971."

April 22, 1970

"Twenty-six-year-old Ira David "Orrie" Meeks and his 17-year-old girlfriend hire pilot Boyce Stradley to take them on a sightseeing flight in a Cessna 172 over Gastonia, North Carolina, during which Meeks pulls a gun on Stradley and orders him to fly them to Cuba so that Meeks can "get away from racism in the United States." During the 11-hour trip to Havana, Cuba, the plane makes refueling stops at Rock Hill, South Carolina, Jacksonville, Florida (where Meeks requests but is denied a bottle of Scotch whisky, and Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Upon arrival in Cuba, Meeks and his girlfriend are arrested, and Stradley flies back to a hero?s welcome in Gastonia."

May 14, 1970

"A man without a ticket boards an Ansett Australia Douglas DC-9-31 at Kingsford Smith Airport in Sydney, Australia, as it prepares for a domestic flight to Brisbane, brandishes a revolver, and demands that the airliner fly him out of Sydney. After talking to a clergyman, he surrenders, and his revolver turns out to be a toy gun."

May 20, 1970

"The Tupolev Tu-144 becomes the first commercial transport to reach Mach 2."

May 26, 1970

"Operation Menu, the 14-month-long covert American bombing campaign by B-52 Stratofortresses against North Vietnamese Army sanctuaries in Cambodia, comes to an end. The B-52s have flown 3,800 sorties and dropped 108,823 tons (98,723,578 kg) of munitions during the campaign."

June 4, 1970

"Angry over the refusal of the United States Supreme Court to hear his case in a dispute with the U.S. Internal Revenue Service which had begun in 1963, Arthur Gates Barkley walks into the cockpit of Trans World Airlines (TWA) Flight 486 – a Boeing 727 flying from Phoenix, Arizona, to Washington National Airport in Arlingtnn, Virginia – armed with a .22-caliber pistol, a straight razor, and a can of gasoline (petrol), and threatens to set the plane and its passengers on fire if $100 million is not taken from the Supreme Court?s budget and given to him, the first time that an American airline hijacker has demanded a ransom. He forces the airliner to land at Washington Dulles International Airport in Virginia, where TWA gives him $100,750 in the hope that he will accept the smaller amount. Enraged at the small amount, Barkley orders the plane to take off and sends a message of complaint addressed directly to President Richard Nixon. During the next two hours, while the plane circles the airport, Barkley makes numerous suicidal threats, and TWA turns the matter over to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), which talks Barkley into returning to the airport to collect the rest of his ransom. When the plane lands, Barkley finds the runway lined with 100 sacks supposedly containing $1 million each but actually containing scraps of paper, and an FBI sniper shoots out the plane?s landing gear. A panicked passenger opens an emergency exit, and the rest of the passengers follow him out of the plane while FBI agents storm it, engage in a gun battle with Barkley in which Barkley and the copilot are wounded, and arrest Barkley."

June 6, 1970

"The commander of the U.S. Air Force's Military Airlift Command, General Jack J. Catton, accepts the first operational Lockheed C-5 Galaxy into service. The C-5 is the largest airplane in the world at the time."

July 1, 1970

"Trans World Airlines becomes the first airline to offer a no-smoking section aboard every aircraft in its fleet."

July 5, 1970

"While landing, Air Canada Flight 621, a Douglas DC-8-63, hits the runway at Toronto International Airport in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, with such force that its number four engine and pylon break off the right wing. The pilot manages to lift off again for a go around, but a series of explosions in the right wing break off the number three engine and pylon and then destroy most of the wing before the pilot can make a second landing attempt. The plane crashes in Brampton, Ontario, killing all 109 people on board."

July 17, 1970

"Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport commences passenger screening to help prevent hijackings, the first airport to do so."

July 30, 1970

"The Egyptian Air Force loses five MiG fighters and their pilots in a single day of combat with the Israeli Air Force."

August 2, 1970

"The first hijacking of a Boeing 747 takes place when 27-year old Puerto Rican nationalist Rodolfo Rivera Rios passes through a metal detector that Pan American World Airways personnel are not monitoring and boards Pan American Flight 299, a Boeing 747-121 (registration N736PA) flying from John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York City to San Juan, Puerto Rico, with 379 people on board. During the flight, he pulls out a .32-caliber pistol, a switchblade, and a bottle he claims contains nitroglycerine, demanding to be flown to Havana, Cuba. Awakened at dawn by the airliner circling Havana at an altitude of 2,000 feet (610 meters) while awaiting air traffic control instructions, President of Cuba Fidel Castro rushes to the airport to inspect the 747 – which at the time was still a novelty – but he declines an invitation to come aboard the plane, saying he does not want to ""disturb the passengers." Imprisoned in Cuba until 1977, Rios returns to the United States in 1978 and is imprisoned for life."

August 24, 1970

"Two U.S. Air Force Sikorsky HH-53C Sea Stallion helicopters complete a nine-day, seven-stop flight of 9,000 miles (14,493 km) from Eglin Air Force Base, Florida, to Da Nang, South Vietnam. The trip has included the first transpacific flight by helicopters, a 1,700-mile (2,738-km) non-stop segment on August 22 from Shemya Island in the Aleutian Islands to Misawa Air Base, Japan, with in-flight refuelling by HC-130 Hercules tanker aircraft."

September 6, 1970

"Members of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP) hijack three airliners bound for New York City. The hijackings of Trans World Airlines Flight 741 – a Boeing 707 flying from Frankfurt-am-Main, West Germany, with 155 people on board including Rabbi Yitzchok Hutner – and Swissair Flight 100 – a Douglas DC-8 with 155 passengers on board flying from Zürich-Kloten Airport in Switzerland – proceed without injury to anyone, and the airliners are flown to Dawson?s Field, an abandoned former Royal Air Force airstrip in a remote desert area of Jordan near Zarka. The hijacking of El Al Flight 219, a Boeing 707 with 158 people on board, fails when hijacker Patrick Argüello is shot and killed after injuring one crew member and his partner Leila Khaled is subdued and turned over to British authorities in London; two other PFLP members prevented from boarding El Al Flight 219 instead hijack Pan American World Airways Flight 93, a Boeing 747 flying from Brussels, Belgium, and Amsterdam, the Netherlands, with 153 people on board, which they force to fly to Beirut, Lebanon, and then on to Cairo, Egypt."

September 8, 1970

"While a Trans International Airlines Douglas DC-8 (registration N8963T) taxis at John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York City for a ferry flight to Washington Dulles International Airport in Fairfax County, Virginia, with eight flight attendants and three cockpit crew members on board, a foreign object becomes wedged between the right elevator and horizontal stabilizer, blown there by backwash from the aircraft preceding it on the taxiway. The problem is not detected, and the aircraft crashes upon takeoff, killing all 11 people on board; it is Trans International's only fatal accident. The accident prompts the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration to institute new minimum distances between aircraft in line-up for take-off."

September 11, 1970

"U.S. President Richard Nixon orders the immediate deployment of armed federal agents aboard U.S. commercial aircraft to combat hijackings."

October 4, 1970

"American stock car racing driver Curtis Turner is one of two people killed when the Aero Commander 500 he is piloting crashes near Mahaffey, Pennsylvania."

October 28, 1970

"The U.S. Air Force completes Operation Fig Hill, an airlift begun on September 27 to bring medical personnel, equipment, and supplies to Jordan in the aftermath of combat between the country's armed forces and the Palestine Liberation Organization. During the airlift, transport aircraft have delivered 200 medical personnel, two field hospitals, and 186 short tons (169 metric tons) of supplies, equipment, vehicles, tents, and food."

November 21, 1970

"American aircraft begin the first major bombing campaign over North Vietnam since 1968, as 300 aircraft attack the Mu Gia and Ban Gari passes."

December 16, 1970

"The Hague Hijacking Convention, formally the "Convention for the Suppression of Unlawful Seizure of Aircraft," is adopted by the International Conference on Air Law at The Hague in the Netherlands. It requires signatory countries to prohibit and punish the hijacking of civilian aircraft in situations in which an aircraft takes off or lands in a place different from its country of registration. It also establishes the principle of aut dedere aut judicare, which holds that a party to the convention must prosecute an aircraft hijacker if no other state requests his or her extradition for prosecution of the same crime. It will go into effect on October 14, 1971."

December 19. 1970

"As Continental Airlines Flight 144 – a Douglas DC-9 with 30 people on board making a flight from Denver, Colorado, to Wichita, Kansas – is flying somewhere between Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Wichita, passenger Calos Denis passes a note to a stewardess indicating that he has a gun and wants to be flown to Cuba. When the captain asks if the passengers can disembark during a refueling stop at Tulsa, Denis agrees. After the other 26 passengers disembark at Tulsa International Airport, the crew sneaks off the plane while Denis uses the lavatory. Tulsa police then board the airliner, find Denis hiding in the lavatory, and arrest him. He turns out to be unarmed."

December 31, 1970

"With pre-tax losses of $130 million, the year ends as the worst ever for U.S. airlines."

Epic Dukes of Hazzard General Lee Stunt in Detroit Ends, Predictably, in Awesome Crash

Legend has it that the seminal early 1980s TV show The Dukes of Hazzard went through between 250 and 320 different Dodge Chargers mocked up in the orange-and-Dixie livery that marked them as the General Lee. While the true number is likely known only by God and the Duke boys themselves, it's beyond question that the Southern-fried CBS show took a decent-sized chunk out of the number of second-gen Chargers in America.

Not that you need to pin down John Schneider the next time you see him at the county fair to confirm it. Instead, just watch this clip of a Dukes of Hazzard-inspired stunt in downtown Detroit from last Friday, which shows—with a camera phone's unedited specificity—exactly the sort of crash you wind up with when you launch a 1960s-era muscle car through the air on a parabolic arc and try to set it down on a paved road.

According to Michigan-area news site, the epic retro stunt was executed to kick off Detroit's 67th annual Autorama car show 67th by stunt driver Raymond Kohn, a member of the Northeast Ohio Dukes—a group of performers who not only put on a live-action Dukes of Hazzard stunt show, but who offer their services for parties and weddings in the broader Ohio area.

(Look, this is a country with thousands of people who dress up in 19th Century clothing and reenact the bloodiest battles of the Civil War for fun. Is this that much weirder?)

Lamborghini Urus SUV Will Make More Than 600 Horsepower, Report Claims

The higher-ups at the Volkswagen Group have hitched some pretty high hopes to the Lamborghini Urus. Lambo CEO Stefano Domenicali has said he expects the brand to sell around 3,500 copies of the SUV per year, which works out to one Urus for every Huracan and Aventador the company moves. But just because the new SUV is expected to double the supercar company's annual sales doesn't mean it'll be an entry-level model when it comes to power or price. According to British publication Auto Express, the new Urus will not only cost around the same amount as the Huracan when it goes on sale later this year—but it'll make around the same amount of power.

The new report, which cites Domenicali as a source, claims the Urus's 4.0-liter twin-turbo V-8 will make "in excess" of 600 horsepower and 590 pound-feet of torque. The Huracan, in contrast, makes 602 hp in all-wheel-drive LP610-4 form and 572 hp in rear-wheel-drive LP580-2 form; neither example's naturally-aspirated V-10 comes close to matching the boosted eight-pot's reported torque figure, however. All that power will be routed to the Urus's four (presumably massive) wheels through a dual-clutch gearbox. The SUV will also reportedly score adjustable electronic dampers and a four-wheel-steering system inspired by the one found in the new Lamborghini Aventador S, too.

Likewise, the Urus will likely come in close to or just above Lamborghini's smallest current two-seater in terms of price. Auto Express reports the SUV will start around £180,000—about 15 percent more than the starting price of the Huracan in England. Assuming that price differential translates over to the American market, the Urus will likely start around $290,000 in the States.

Buyers might have to fork out more than that if they want to take an Urus home soon, though—especially if they don't already have an order in the books. Domenicali said demand for the sport-ute could be "a little bit crazy” for the first two years of production.

Australia Looks Towards Hyperloop to Ease Tight Housing Market

Australian lawmakers want to examine high speed rail as a way to make it easier for workers in high-rent cities such as Sydney and Melbourne to own a home. One proposal calls for eight entirely new cities to be built along a high-speed rail corridor between Sydney and Melbourne by 2050, to the tune of $200 billion. However, the Australian Parliament's Committee on Infrastructure, Transport and Cities also wants the government to explore Elon Musk's Hyperloop as a way to expand transportation networks at a fraction of the cost of rail.

More affordable housing accessible by hyperloop

As readers of The Drive likely know by now, a hyperloop transports passengers or cargo at supersonic speeds in a low-pressure frictionless tube, cutting travel time from hours down to minutes. The high-speed lines could open up new housing markets to workers in high-rent Australian cities, such as Melbourne or Sydney. The average price of a home in Sydney was $880,000 in June 2016, according to ABC News Australia. However, in Granville—a 40-minute train ride away—a two-bedroom home drops to $600,000, while a two-hour drive away in Goulburn, a four-bedroom home is only $420,000.

Commuters are already seeking out areas with more affordable housing. Goulburn mayor Geoff Kettle estimates there are approximately 2,000 people commuting daily from Goulburn to Canberra and Sydney, and notes that growth could be even stronger with improved transportation system linking the cities.

Construction costs could be covered by rising land value

Spreading out housing demand would also ease traffic and strain on infrastructure in cities as population density increases. Funds for the transportation network expansion could be raised by rising real estate values of newly created communities along the lines, according to Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull.

Although hyperloops still have many engineering and construction challenges to overcome, they offer significant cost savings over traditional high speed rail; construction and operation costs are estimated to be 60 percent less than high speed rail, and a hyperloop could be financially viable at 15 percent occupancy. Once it gets off the to speak.

Watch a Man Crash a McLaren MP4-12C While Driving With One Hand

Driving mid-engines supercars is not easy. In fact, most experienced driving professionals would tell you that if you're going to sit yourself down behind the wheel of a car like a 616-horsepower McLaren MP4-12C, you're going to want to use two hands. But during the events in this video, that apparently wasn't taken into consideration—at least not until the driver crashed the supercar and caused more than $100,000 worth of damage.

In a video that was shared on YouTube Friday, you see a man behind the wheel of an MP4-12C at a $99 "ride and drive" experience. Though the driver has an instructor next him—someone who is supposed to prevent the inexperienced from doing stupid things—the driver still manages to crash the multi-hundred thousand dollar supercar.

Though the driver didn't appear to be pushing the car too hard throughout most of the video, on his last lap, per the instructor's recommendation, the driver picks up the pace, but still while driving with one hand. After a straightaway where the instructor tells the driver repeatedly to "floor it," the driver looks up and finds himself attempting to steer the car around a tight turn. He fails, understeers the car, and, according to the video, leaves the supercar with $125,000 in damage.

Check out the video below.

Check Out $10 Million of Porsches Auctioned Off in One Day

RM Sotheby's auction yesterday was, as you'd expect, rife with classics like Alfas, Ferraris, and Maseratis—but it was Porsche that had the strongest showing by far. The marque pulled in roughly $10.2 million for the Canada-based auction house in one day alone.

Save for a few models, the Porsche selection seems like it was torn directly out of the brand's greatest hits book, with new and old models alike—a Pre-A 356 bodied by Reutter and a new 911 R, for example—sandwiching some of the best cars to come from Zuffenhausen. Overall, the auction pulled off some hugely successful Porsche sales—the 1988 959 Sport set a new world record, and the 993 Turbo Cabriolet that sold for $1.4 million likely caused a few jaws to drop. But unfortunately, the 1970 917/10 prototype didn't end up selling, despite an entertaining bidding war.

The total tab? $10,251,363.

So what does more than $10 million in Porsches look like? Check it out below.

1955 Porsche 356 Pre-A 1600 Speedster by Reutter: $393,968

1976 Porsche 912 E: $35,873

1981 Porsche 924 Carrera GT: $98,054

2004 Porsche 911 GT2 Clubsport: $263,072

1994 Porsche 911 Turbo S 3.6: $962,606

1970 Porsche 914/6: $62,180

1993 Porsche 928 GTS: $89,683

2004 Porsche 911 GT3 RS: $418,524

2000 Porsche 911 GT3 Clubsport: $119,578

1986 Porsche 911 Turbo 'Flat Nose': $149,473

1988 Porsche 959 Sport: $2,092,623

2014 Porsche 911 Carrera S Martini Racing Edition: $131,536

2005 Porsche 911 Turbo S Cabriolet: $89,683

2016 Porsche 911 R: $550,061

1998 Ruf CTR2 Sport: $562,018

2010 Porsche 911 GT3 RSR: $502,229

1995 Porsche 911 Turbo Cabriolet: $1,434,941

1991 Porsche 911 Carrera Cup: $239,156

1964 Porsche 901 Cabriolet Prototype by Karmann: $692,914

1973 Porsche 911 Carrera RS 2.7 Touring: $573,976

2010 Porsche 911 Speedster: $251,114

1977 Porsche 911 Carrera 3.0 'Turbo Look' Targa: $167,409

1958 Porsche 356 A 1600 Super Coupé: $131,536

1992 Porsche 911 Carrera RS: $239,156

The New 5-Series Owes Much of its Success to its Sixth Generation

The seventh generation 5-Series is becoming the star of BMW's show. The newest flagship model is a host to the freshest technology offered by the manufacturer, giving us glimpses at what we can expect in the future. Although it features a boat load of new features specific to the seventh generation, the 5-Series couldn't do it without the help of the outgoing sixth generation F10.

BMW's sixth generation 5-Series was a revolution for luxury and accessibility. It offered new features that we'd never seen in a BMW before like Automatic Emergency Braking and semi-autonomous road going tech, something that we are looking to see much more of in the coming model. It was a logical break from the off-the-wall E60 generation that returned sensibility to the sedan.

Without the sixth generation, we would surely be seeing a much different model come release time. It became the best selling 5-Series of all time while being perhaps the most usable, offering Touring and Gran Turismo variants that kept the same spirit alive with added utility. It ushered in an era of 5-Series that saw success world wide, and that's something that BMW hopes to carry on with the seventh generation.

Crazy Ohio Dealership Now Selling 1,200-HP Ford Mustangs for $45K

In case you needed further proof that this decade is the golden age of muscle car performance, well, here you go: a dealership in Ohio is offering new twin-turbo Ford Mustangs capable of 1,200 horsepower for a starting price of $44,499. God bless America.

Lebanon Ford of Lebanon, Ohio, even whipped up a special name for their twin-turbo 'Stang build: the LFP Hellion. (LFP stands for "Lebanon Ford Performance," in case you were wondering.)

To build a Hellion, LFP takes a new Mustang GT and adds a pair of 62mm turbos, a set of Turbosmart VEE port bypass valves, and a big vertical flow dual inlet intercooler, as well as a cat-back exhaust. Add in the base price of the V-8 Mustang, and you come to a total price of $44,499—a sum that even includes labor costs.

The twin snails can be adjusted to supply anywhere from 5 to 30 pounds of boost, depending on how much juice the driver desires. While the higher figure equates to Bugatti Veyron Super Sport-like power figures, even the minimum amount dials the car up to around 600 horsepower at the crank.

Of course, if you want to really get the most out of this Mustang, you might want to spring for the second Hellion package. For an extra five grand, that adds on a few performance items—a fuel pump voltage booster, new fuel injectors, new halfshafts, and oil pump gears—likely to come in handy when pushing quadruple-digit horsepower figures out of a car that starts at $33,000.

If something about this rings a bell, that's likely because Lebanon Ford's steroidal Mustangs have graced this site before. In May 2016, The Drive spoke with the dealership about its 727-horsepower supercharged 'Stang setup, which it offers starting at a five-spot less than $40K.

Of course, if you'd rather spring for a stupidly-powerful forced-induction Mustang with a full factory warranty, you can always hold off for the 2018 Shelby GT500, likely due to debut sometime in the next six months. But clearly, if you're considering a 1,200-hp muscle car...waiting isn't your strong suit.

10 Critical Driving Safety Tips From Bad Advice Uncle Charlie

I know it sounds like a cliche off something you'd see on TV Land, but I had an uncle named Charlie. My Uncle Charlie loved to give advice. For instance, he always told me that, at the beach, it was the “third wave that got you.” I’d swim out with confidence and a plan to avoid that third wave...and get clobbered by wave number two or four.

Another example: Uncle Charlie once told me to add Coca-Cola to house plants. I did. The roots rotted and my apartment smelled like a sewage treatment facility for six weeks.

Luckily, my Uncle Charlie didn’t know anything about cars. But if he did, he’d have knocked back a few whiskey sours and delivered the following pearls of wisdom. Please read in the voice of Burgess Meredith for extra realism.

Without further ado: Bad Advice from Mike Spinelli's Uncle Charlie.

1.) When driving in the rain, periodically slam on the brakes to test your traction.

2.) At night, leave your high beams on. Other drivers will appreciate that they can see you coming from further away.

3.) Never wear a seat belt. In an accident, it’s safer to be thrown as far from the wreckage as possible. Preferably a quarter-mile.

4.) If you have a blowout, slam on the brakes. It’s very important to make sure the other tires are a-okay.

5.) If you get a flat tire, change it in the middle of the street so people will stop and help you.

6.) Save a few bucks by replacing your windshield wipers with rolled-up newspapers. The ink moisturizes the glass and keeps it from breaking during thunderstorms.

7.) If your car is ever submerged in water, punch the window with your fist while yelling for help. When you get out, call your lawyer first before the police.

8.) Always keep a safety kit in your trunk with the following items in case of emergency:

a) Jumper cables, b.) An orange vest, c.) A shotgun, c.) Two cans of pork and beans, d.) A can opener, e.) An axe, f.) A bottle of good whiskey, g)., Bug spray, h.) Saltine crackers, i.) A roll of duct tape, j.) A roll of toilet paper (don’t get them confused in the dark), k.) A flare gun, l.) Waterproof matches, m.) A change of pants, m.) Your lawyer’s phone number.

9.) If you get into an accident and no one sees you, set the car on fire and walk away.

10.) When you're driving in the country, always scan the roadside for golfers (or did he mean gophers?).